Галагазета | Completely Unreliable Movie Reviews Vol. 1
Completely Unreliable Movie Reviews Vol. 1 Pickles, 3 апреля 2017 г., 10:43
Hello over there. Welcome to the movie section. I am your unreliable reviewer, Pickles. I will review films that I've recently seen. I can't review upcoming films because I wouldn't have seen it, right? Som I'm going to review movies here and there. It could be old, it could be new, but it will always be unreliable information... Sort of.
So I'm going to review the last 5 movies I've seen. I won't really look back and see certain parts of the movie, but I know my films, so I'm doing the best I can.
1.
Blade (1998) is a tale about the black half-man/half-vampire who travels from town to town with his old man companion, Whistler, killing vampires left and right. And he comes across a doctor, who was bitten and they set off to go destroy some kind of brotherhood, who was taken over by Deacon Frost (Stephen Dorff) and Blade kicks butt and so on, but does he beat the bad guy? CLIFFHANGER! Hint: There are sequels. Fun fact: Blade is actually a Marvel movie, but this was before Marvel Movies were a thing.
2.
The Invitation (2015) is a thriller starring a handsome guy with long hair and a gorgeous beard. He and his girlfriend are invited to a party hosted by his ex-wife and her new husband. When he gets there, things are stranger than it seems. Trust me when I say this, but you must watch this film. You kinda figure what's going on halfway throughout, but when everything turns... No, no spoilers! Go watch it for your own sake.
3.
Green Room (2015) is a story about a punk rock band who travels to a gig that just happens to be at a Neo-Nazi bar, but when they witness a crime, they do everything to try to survive the night. It stars the late Anton Yelchin and Patrick Stewart. You know, the old guy who plays Professor X in the X-Men movies? He's the leader of the Neo-Nazis!
4.
Assassin's Creed (2016) is a movie based on a game of the same name. I can't recommend this movie to you. Took me like 3 days to get through. The guy goes in some kind of machine which inserts his brain into his descendent and... Honestly, it's ridiculous, but if you want to waste your time, then go watch it. Oh and somehow he gets all the skills from his descendent via the machine. I would rather watch a plant grow from the seed till it blooms.
5.
Lion (2016) is based on a true story about a boy named Kaloo or Kazoo or Badoo, who falls asleep one day on a train and gets lost in India, eventually being adopted by Australians and grows up still longing for the homeland, eventually using Google Earth to try to trace his way back home. Honestly, I cried so much at the end that I tried sucking back up the tears, but the feels were too real. I highly recommend this film.
So there you go. 4 really good movies and 1 terrible one to boot.
Written by: Pickles (Me)
Source: in-galaxy.com
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Blade (1998) is a tale about the black half-man/half-vampire who travels from town to town with his old man companion, Whistler, killing vampires left and right. And he comes across a doctor, who was bitten and they set off to go destroy some kind of brotherhood, who was taken over by Deacon Frost (Stephen Dorff) and Blade kicks butt and so on, but does he beat the bad guy? CLIFFHANGER! Hint: There are sequels. Fun fact: Blade is actually a Marvel movie, but this was before Marvel Movies were a thing. 2.
The Invitation (2015) is a thriller starring a handsome guy with long hair and a gorgeous beard. He and his girlfriend are invited to a party hosted by his ex-wife and her new husband. When he gets there, things are stranger than it seems. Trust me when I say this, but you must watch this film. You kinda figure what's going on halfway throughout, but when everything turns... No, no spoilers! Go watch it for your own sake. 3.
Green Room (2015) is a story about a punk rock band who travels to a gig that just happens to be at a Neo-Nazi bar, but when they witness a crime, they do everything to try to survive the night. It stars the late Anton Yelchin and Patrick Stewart. You know, the old guy who plays Professor X in the X-Men movies? He's the leader of the Neo-Nazis! 4.
Assassin's Creed (2016) is a movie based on a game of the same name. I can't recommend this movie to you. Took me like 3 days to get through. The guy goes in some kind of machine which inserts his brain into his descendent and... Honestly, it's ridiculous, but if you want to waste your time, then go watch it. Oh and somehow he gets all the skills from his descendent via the machine. I would rather watch a plant grow from the seed till it blooms. 5.
Lion (2016) is based on a true story about a boy named Kaloo or Kazoo or Badoo, who falls asleep one day on a train and gets lost in India, eventually being adopted by Australians and grows up still longing for the homeland, eventually using Google Earth to try to trace his way back home. Honestly, I cried so much at the end that I tried sucking back up the tears, but the feels were too real. I highly recommend this film. So there you go. 4 really good movies and 1 terrible one to boot. Written by: Pickles (Me) Source: in-galaxy.com
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