Галагазета | Drink Moderately
Drink Moderately
Zyra`, 14 октября 2019 г., 11:44
Hi everyone! I'd like to share some of the few funny drunken fails I've witnessed.

I. Who are you?!
It was a usual evening when my friend and I decided to go to the mall, so we hailed a jeepney, a kind of PUV (Public Utility Vehicle) transportation in our country. In the farthest seat, there were two middle aged men, obviously drunk. The ride was going smoothly, and they're having a casual conversation when suddenly one of them shouted, ''BOSS (pertaining to the driver), STOP THE CAR!'' Due to shock, the driver instantly skidded to a halt. We're all dumbfounded, except the two:

Drunk 1: Why are you leaning your head in my shoulders? I'm not your boyfriend!
Drunk 2: Who are you? Don't talk to me, I don't even know you!
Drunk 1: Let's go down this jeep so I could punch you!
Drunk 2: C'mon show me what you got! Boss, don't go without me, I'll be fast. I just need to teach this guy a lesson.

So then they went down the jeepney but did nothing. In a bit, they both went back inside unscratched.

Drunk 2: Be thankful I've remembered who you are or else you'll be dead meat.
Drunk 1: Yeah good thing I remembered you too.

We all relaxed and the driver resumed driver. The two guys laughed for a for a few minutes and fell asleep.:fp:

II. ''I have superpowers!''
It was a day after our Friday night out. One of our friends messaged our group chat in Facebook. Here's our conversation:

Friend 1: Guys, last night's our best night out! I feel great, I didn't get drunk. I don't even have a hangover.
Friend 2: Hah, really? Do you want us to remind you the stupid things you did last night?
Me: Yeah you're the worst last night!
Friend 1: I don't even remember doing anything stupid last night.
Friend 3: You don't remember crying and drunk texting your ex? You told her you'll even send nudes just to get her back.
Friend 4: How about the time you lied down the sidewalk and kissed it, saying it's soooo soft?
Friend 1: I DIDN'T DO THAT!
Friend 2: Wait 'til we tell you the worst thing you did. Remember when you said ''I HAVE SUPERPOWERS! I CAN BREATHE FIRE!'' and you vomited afterwards.
Friend 4: His vomit almost got me! Yuck!

Our conversation was filled with laughter and our friend left the group chat in shame. 

Night outs are memorable. Drunk fails and conversations are priceless. However, we should drink moderately in order to avoid those 'accidents' and maintain a healthy liver. Cheers!
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